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Your husband is in good enough shape to:
1. Play three sets of tennis.
2. Complete 18 holes of golf.
3. Successfully finish the 10 km race.
4. Swim 36 stretches in an Olympic size swimming pool.
5. Perform 50 squats, 25 push-ups, jump 25 times with your knees bent, and 50 jump, clapping your hands over your head.
But he was too tired to:
1. Take out the trash.
2. Wash the dishes.
3. Make the bed.
4. Swaddle the baby.
5. Replace the bulb.
6. Mow the lawn.
7. Redeem children.
8. Put the children to bed.
9. Prepare dinner.
10. Lower the toilet seat into place.
Your marriage will be successful if you can quickly agree:
1. Whether to squeeze out the toothpaste starting from the top of the tube or starting from the bottom.
2. Whether to insert toilet paper so that it unwinds from top to bottom or bottom to top.
1. When you need his help to bring food into the house and put them in place, he is busy.
2. As soon as you put the food in place, he can't wait to find out what is for lunch today.
1. When an important game is shown on TV, he lies on the couch and watches it intently.
2. When an important game is not shown on TV, he lies on the couch and carefully studies the TV program so as not to miss when it will be shown.
The only help your husband gives you with cleaning is he gives you the gracious permission to use his old T-shirts as rags for dusting.
Your husband invariably turns out to be away on business if at home:
1. Stove or boiler breaks.
2. An urgent need to mow the lawn.
3. Kitchen drain or sink leaks.
4. Finally, a long-awaited package from relatives with gifts for the whole family comes to my husband's name.
You will never know if he loves you, since the word "love" is not in his vocabulary ... unless he starts talking about moderately undercooked tenderloin steaks, foreign sports cars or defensive midfielders.
On your birthday, do not forget to stop-at the side of the highway to smell the flowers, as your husband will forget to bring you any bouquet.
Your husband is unable to remember your wedding anniversary, but he gets very upset if you suddenly forget his birthday.
Your spouse is still capable of at least partially changing, namely:
1. His good habits evaporate.
2. But his bad habits persist.
If you have succeeded in changing your husband's character, do not complain that he is now not the person you married.
1. Behind the back of every man who has achieved success in business, hides his surprised mother-in-law.
2. Behind the back of every man who has achieved success in business hides his wife, who has long since cared for him.
Behind the back of every woman who has achieved success in business is a man with an inferiority complex.
If he is delighted with your new dress, then he probably simply did not see the price tag on it.
How nice it is to have a man in the house - except in those cases when he is sick, out of work or retired.
A man who has ceased to find flaws in his wife is a widower.